An older friend asked me how things were going in my life. “Mostly well,” I said. I added that I was disappointed in my marriage. I described some things my husband did, both good and disappointing. For instance, he was great at helping me replace my lost my iPhone and not good at inquiring about my weekend away.
She was sympathetic to my feelings of disappointment, but she added wisdom to the mix. She said to me, “Listen to this song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” And we listened to it together.
What I got from this was this: focus on the positive. It’s true that “in every life we have some trouble. But when you worry, you make it double.” So true, I thought. Every life has some trouble. It is how we orient ourselves that makes all the difference.
So, notice the good in your life, the strengths and the gifts!
Notice what is positive for you. That you have a husband (or wife or partner), that you have a job, health, friends, children, meaningful interests. Notice that you are free to walk in the park or see a movie, that you live in a country where you can speak your mind. You can “Be happy!”
Rather than focusing on the negative, why not encourage thoughts such as, “Wow. I have a husband who cares about me. He is willing to sit while I try on bathing suits and doesn’t mind that I have a bit of a belly…”
I’m not that good at this, but I am trying and that already makes things better.